There's something about going home, and vomiting out copious amounts of blood that gives your skin the sheen and shine of the undead, that pale, bloodless look. Oh i wish i was that lucky, not enough blood yet though? maybe later?

the day started out bad enough, almost publicly cried and humiliated myself, good thing i caught myself in time. the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. then boom, here comes the mile run, nothing really, after all, as a former track member, i should be able to run no problem.

Then i go home and boom, splitting headache and a blast furnace for a stomach. first food, then i run out of food so i guess bloods next. hopefully, ill be able to spit out a vital organ by the end of the night.

It's truly a sad world we live in, when friends act like strangers. So many times i was tempted to look into her inbox but i swore to respect her privacy and did so. i guess i just really suck at these things? you know, the comfort people and try to help. i guess try is all i ever do, people just don't see me as someone they can trust. or maybe i don't suck, maybe everyone just hates me. hell knows i have enough people mad at me, having people mad at me for no reason, or a reason i don't know is even worse.

Humans, humans, humans. it's a good thing i've evolved past that,into something more evil, colder, but at least more human than man could ever be. warm blood flows through these veins once more, but oh, how i wish ice water did instead, then i wouldn't have to worry about anything?

im up in over my head now. help?

and if anyone's looking for me? don't even try, i won't be home and my fone won't be with me for once. nstp sucks.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

wow, it's more than a month since my last update, just goes to show you guys how lazy i am... hehe. what am i doing, up at 830 in the morning when, me, the sleepy one, usually sleeps on until 1000? been having trouble sleeping the past few nights, guess my insomnia is back or something. kidding, there's a reason, i can't tell though, sorry. well, least that gives me a lot of time to think and contemplate about the stuff i need to be reflecting on, which isn't so bad. but then, im looking more haggard each day (not that it makes much of a difference) and im just really, really tired.
There's a lot more i wanna type in here but i really can't find the words, or the energy to, give me a call though if you have time. someone talk to me...
im so pathetic, i should die.

Like, love, infatuation
Has put me in this situation
I don’t why you make me cry
And my feelings are always awry
My thoughts of you make me grin
Accompanied by melancholic violin
My sanity is leaving me
To fly, to go, to flee
I thought maybe it could be
I thought wrong it would seem
And every time the moon is full
Forgotten, lost, alone to mull
Shall it be this way forever?
Never a thought for my every endeavor
My will is gone, so empty my soul
And so my life will never be whole
I need to know, I need it straight
Is ignorance my fate?
Wake me from this dream, I beg you
For these nightmares hurt me so
To once again walk with the living
Better off than believing
In nothing

Blazing, Trying, Hope
'til Moonshadow thwarts its light
Alone, Weeping, Gone

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